A parent provided this cautionary tale to PANIC.
Our son was inappropriately touched by another boy in his school. We approached the headmaster, the other child eventually admitted his wrongdoing and it seemed to get sorted, though the headmaster's approach was unorthodox (he interviewed both boys without parental supervision - the boys were only young).
Unfortunately, it happened again. The headmaster turned his focus onto our son, saying that HE was the one they were worried about, not the other boy that our son complained about. We contacted CYFS and asked for their assistance in dealing with the school. The headmaster contacted CYFS (at my insistence) and received a different response from them as to the other boy's behaviour - CYFS told him that it was NORMAL! And of course, CYFS were telling us that they would in fact get around to this case eventually, but they put us off for about 5 months.
During that time, more inappropriate touching went on with our son being targeted by 3 other boys. Again, we contacted the headmaster, again we contacted CYFS. On the third incident,the child involved was disciplined by the school, but the headmaster made out that the incident wasn't as bad as our son had stated. CYFS weren't phoning me back (of course) and I was getting frustrated with the school and CYFS. When the fourth incident occurred, and after our son's teacher AND principal told our son, TO HIS FACE that he was LYING (just because they didn't see it happen) I was ropable. Our son was becoming increasingly reluctant to go to school (and I didn't blame him) and he was having nightmares. At one stage his teacher even had a go at me, telling me that I couldn't even speak to my own child during school time without the principal present! Unfortunately, they had convinced my child he was lying, so he told me that he must be making it up. But I had a feeling he wasn't.
Three days later, at an after school class, I witnessed our child being touched inappropriately by the same boy. Then that child did it again - to the instructor!
I phoned CYFS, and the Board of Trustees, CYFS put me off yet again and the Board of Trustees eventually sided with the principal, saying there was nothing to investigate.
One more time, our son was victimised by another boy. This time, the principal came in to the toilets (where most of the incidents took place) and found our son using the loo. Obviously, this was AFTER the incident took place, and as our son left the loo he told the headmaster what happened. The headmaster NEVER contacted us - and to this day he has not contacted us again.
We contacted CYFS again(!) and all of a sudden they seemed interested. We had pulled our son out of the school (for obvious reasons) and waited for CYFS to act. They eventually came to speak with me, asked all manner of personal questions which I answered willingly enough as we had nothing to hide. Though it was uncomfortable to do so, as I felt that something wasn't right with all of this. They refrained from telling me what the headmaster had said about our son, (and I knew there was something he had told them, but they claimed all their notes were hand written at this stage, and they would let me know everything after it was all put into the computer system.) The social workers then wanted to interview our son at a later date.
I had asked them to let me see what the headmaster had said prior to our son's interview. They fobbed me off again, claiming time was against them that day. They interviewed my son, taking him away behind a secured door. After he came out, they said he had disclosed everything exactly as we had told them, but insinuated that our son was prepped by us. (It was 5 months beforehand that the first incident took place, and all I did was ask my son if he remembered. The rest was all his own words.) They did tell me then that the headmaster had said our son had a hitting problem (that we already knew about and had dealt with - he was retaliating to other children hitting him and he NEVER lied about it when we asked him). They claimed my son's speech was very advanced for his age (he is an only child) and they were surprised at his knowledge of body parts (I wondered if it was wrong to teach children names of body parts by what she said). The social worker then told me that our son was to go to the EVU - Evidential Video Unit for a videoed interview with a psychologist. I wasn't happy about this as I thought he had been through enough.
All went silent for a few weeks. We waited for CYFS to contact us, I phoned them, no response. A letter much later on confirmed that the social worker had moved on and a new one would take her place. More time went by, I rang, got hold of the new soc worker who said she didn't know much about the case, but would find out what she could. She rang back, told me our son was going to have a diagnostic interview, to which I replied "No, it's supposed to be an EVU - that's what I was told". She came by the house that evening with information about the diagnostic interview, telling me the other social worker had made a mistake, and in her hand writing at the top of the information, it said the interview was videoed. I agreed to go through with the process. But first, the pyschologist wanted to speak with us.
We got lost on the way to the interview, so I went on my own the following day. Again, I was asked all manner of personal questions by the pyschologist, and I was starting to feel really uncomfortable with this whole thing - it was dragging on! The pyschologist seemed particularly interested in my pregnancy(?)for some reason. I also found out that my son's interview was NOT going to be videoed at all, and was never intended for video. I felt lied to, so rang CYFS the following week and got stuck into the new social worker. I asked when the hell were they going to get around to focussing on the other boys, as all they had done so far was interview us! Her reply : "...we probably won't be doing anything about those other boys". At that point, I lost the plot. Here we were, seven months down the track, and no one had done anything to find out what was going on with those other children! They were only looking at us and our son! I was furious, and let the social worker know it.
She eventually came back to me, saying that the pyschologist had recommended, on the basis of the interview that our son had done with CYFS, that the other boys should now be looked at. FINALLY! Vindication! And an end to all of this. Or so I thought.
Two weeks went by, I hadn't heard from CYFS. Then an obscure message arrives on my mobile. The social worker stated something along the lines of "...I am ringing to advise you that the other boy's (singular) case has now been closed." I rang her back, couldn't get hold of her (of course), left messages, finally the supervisor got back to me. She asked what more did I want from them? I told her I didn't understand what the social workers message meant, and all this uncaring cow of a woman would say to me, was that the case has been shut down. She refused to say if all the boys were investigated, she refused to say if anything had been done at all, just that the case was closed, and from that I had to assume that our son's file was closed now too. She told me to concentrate now on my son - you can imagine my reply to that! I got pretty irate with her - I wanted to make sure that they had at least spoken with the other boys' families (I was told that was the least I was allowed to know in the beginning.) She hung up on me. I was none the wiser as to anything being done. From the time they told me that they WERE going to focus on the other boys to this conversation though was only two weeks - not long enough to investigate ANYTHING!
Just prior to this conversation, I had requested a copy of the files from CYFS. They eventually arrived, with a LOT of deletions (mainly the interview our son did with CYFS was deleted)and there, in black and white was the reason our son was not believed, and the reason the case was shut down. The school headmaster had told CYFS very early on, that our son was "stimulating" himself in front of other children! I almost vomited! NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON HAD EVER SPOKEN TO US ABOUT THIS ALLEGATION, OR CLARIFIED WITH US IF THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH OUR SON! And of course, if they had spoken to us, they would have found out our son has eczema, and a history of urine infections and had been very uncomfortable in THAT area since birth! So all the time, there was this OPINION on our son's file. All the visits CYFS had paid us were noted with words like "...the child spent most of his time playing with himself..." though in reality he was most certainly NOT!!!!! And this behaviour was what they focused on. The headmaster had also told CYFS that our son was strange and unusual, and that we were social outcasts who never merged with other adults and children. And CYFS now supported that idea - and subsequently shut everything down without proper investigation. They never even bothered to put it in writing that the cases were closed.
Our son never did a thing wrong in this manner to any child. It was done TO him, not BY him. No child came forward to say our son had touched them in that way. It was the other way around. Plus there were 2 adult witnesses to one of the boy's behaviour! But neither the school nor CYFS cared about that! Both the school and CYFS failed to keep our son safe from harm - the second social worker told me at one stage that it was NOT CYFS job to focus on those other boys! And we are left with a file that states our son has behavioural problems and that we are all just plain weird.
I truly believe that CYFS are an evil organisation. They couldn't be bothered investigating the other boys because they had an easy scapegoat in our son - as backed up by that nasty school principal! They had an obligation to investigate the allegations properly - that's what they are paid for! Instead they allowed the headmaster's views to cloud their judgement and focussed on helping the egotistical twit launch a smear campaign against an innocent child. And all because the reputation of the school would have been tarnished! I am now in the process of fighting to have my son's name cleared. He is doing really well at his new school, and his progress is no longer hindered by other children targetting him. He was at the other school for 5 months and learned basically nothing. He has been in his new school for 2-3 months, and has progressed well. And still, not one single person has come forward to say that our son has hurt them inappropriately. Because it just wouldn't be true. We know our son, we know that behaviour is not him. We would never tolerate him doing what they claimed. Poor kid still gets rashes though, so we have to work extra hard to ensure that NO ONE thinks that he is stimulating himself - he is merely itchy! How weird is that?
BEWARE OF CYFS - and of course schools! They are NOT the organisations they claim to be. They are merely a bunch of useless idiots pushing papers and ruining lives. The stress of this ordeal has taken its toll on all of us. We asked for their help, and now we are fighting to clear our son's name instead. Isn't it revolting what adults will put children through.
P.S. Our son is merely five years old. We wonder if this file will haunt him for the rest of his life!
Thanks for letting me tell our story, and putting it on your website. We have been silenced by almost everyone else and we need people to know what we went through. And what our son went through. No child should ever be told they are a liar, or weird or strange, or doing something they clearly are not! This was cruel and needs to be published. Cheers